Thinking about therapy? 7 things to know before your first session

Starting therapy can feel like standing at the edge of something vast and unknown. Maybe you’ve reached a breaking point, or maybe you’re simply curious about yourself. Either way, stepping into therapy is an act of courage and self-inquiry. From a psychodynamic perspective, it’s also the beginning of a deep, unfolding relationship—with your therapist, and more importantly, with yourself.

If you’re considering therapy, here are seven things to know before your first session:

1. Therapy is a relationship, not just a technique

Psychodynamic therapy views the therapeutic relationship as a central part of the healing process. Unlike a quick fix or advice-giving session, this approach helps you explore how early experiences and unconscious patterns shape how you relate to other and to yourself. Your therapist won’t just talk about symptoms; they’ll be attuned to how you feel in the room, the emotional “tone” of your story, and the subtle ways defenses show up.

2. You might not know exactly why you’re here, and that’s ok

It’s common to enter therapy with vague discomfort: anxiety, a sense of stuckness, or patterns you can’t explain. Psychodynamic therapy welcomes ambiguity. You don’t need to have a clear “goal” right away. Often, the work begins with following your feelings and free associations, uncovering the deeper emotional themes that live below the surface.

3. Myths about therapy can hold you back from getting the most out of it

Let’s clear a few things up:

• Myth: “Therapy is only for people with serious problems.”
  Truth: Many people seek therapy to better understand themselves, not because they’re in crisis.

• Myth: “A therapist will just give me advice.”
  Truth: Advice can be helpful, but therapy is more about helping you explore your internal world so that your decisions come from deeper self-awareness.

• Myth: “Talking about the past is pointless—I just want to move on.”
  Truth: The past often lives in the present. Patterns from early relationships can echo in current dynamics. Understanding this gives you real freedom.

4. Choosing the right therapist is about fit, not just credentials

Credentials matter, but so does feeling seen. A great therapist will be trained to notice unconscious processes, reflect them back to you with care, and work collaboratively through relational dynamics that arise in the therapy itself. But beyond theory, ask yourself: Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Do I feel they’re genuinely interested in who I am?

Many therapists offer free consultations—use them to ask questions and get a sense of the interpersonal chemistry.

5. Common questions clients ask (and how we might respond)

• “Will I have to talk about my childhood?”
  Probably, but not immediately. Your history can reveal patterns, but you’ll set the pace.

• “What if I don’t know what to say?”
  That’s very normal. Silence can be part of the process. A good therapist will help you sit with it rather than rush to fill it.

• “How long will this take?”
  There’s no one-size-fits-all. Psychodynamic work can be more open-ended because it’s interested in lasting internal change, not just symptom relief.

6. Defense mechanisms are welcome here

In therapy, we recognize that humans develop defenses, like intellectualizing, humor, or withdrawal, not because they’re weak, but because they’ve had to protect themselves. The goal isn’t to get rid of defenses, but to understand them, respect their purpose, and gently loosen the ones that no longer serve you.

7. This work can be challenging, but it’s also deeply meaningful

Therapy is not always easy. You might feel worse before you feel better. Old wounds may surface. But through the discomfort comes clarity, emotional depth, and a new sense of integration. Psychodynamic therapy offers not just symptom relief, but transformation, from the inside out.

Your first therapy session is not a test. It’s the start of a relationship, one that can illuminate unconscious patterns, deepen your self-understanding, and help you find new ways of being in the world. If you’re thinking about therapy, honor that impulse. It may be one of the most important conversations you ever have.